Do You Really Like Yourself?

“Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another.” - Henry Rollins

Are you concerned about how people think about you?

In one day, how many times do you think about things that will make other people like you?

Multiply that to the number of days you have been doing this kind of thinking and voila! You now have an estimate of the number of hours you have wasted in your life.

Are majority of your actions geared towards making other people happy? Do you always end up feeling sorry for yourself because all you do is give in to other people’s needs?

It is not totally wrong to value other people’s opinions on certain things. Over reliance to other people’s opinion becomes self-damaging when you become completely tied down to this kind of mentality.

Just think, in all those times that you have spent trying to please others, trying to make sure that they are happy, are you happy?

When you spend majority of your time just trying to please others and making their lives better, you tend to forget your own happiness.

Of course, it doesn’t mean that you should be selfish and make your happiness the ONLY priority regardless of the outcome of the circumstances.  It simply means that while you are trying to make others feel better, do not ever forget that you should be equally happy with your decisions and actions.

Despite knowing this, why do people still go through all the trouble just to make others love them?”

Not too many people seem to be aware that they are doing this. Do you know someone who relies on other people’s opinions and always actively seek compliments from others?

This shows their level of insecurity and their level of discomfort that they always have to hear nice things about themselves. They need other people in order to reaffirm that there is something good about them.

Now, why is that? Why can’t they see and appreciate those wonderful qualities on their own? Why do they have to keep on relying on other people in order to feel better?

The answer is simple. They do not like themselves.

Compare these to other people who are totally comfortable with their own self. They go after what they want and pursue their passions in life. Just imagine the happiness, feeling of fulfilment, and the magnitude of freedom they are enjoying.

Some people might say, “It’s just a front! Those seemingly happy people are also sad and lonely deep inside.” This kind of mentality is what’s stopping them from being happy.

Constant cynicism, starting from putting one’s self down to negative concepts about others, adds fuel to your pursuit of a very miserable and lonely life.

In order for you to be happy, it should start from within. You must first be happy with your own self, in order to gain appreciation of other people’s happiness. 

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