Fears And Insecurities
Do You Let Fears And Insecurities Rule Your Life?
Has anyone or anything stopped you from doing what you always wanted to do? Did you have a good reason why you stopped to pursue what you wanted to do?
If your answer is because you are afraid, then you have been a victim of fear paralysis!
An anonymous author once said, “The only thing to fear is fear itself.” Trace the origin of your fear. Did it come from an old traumatizing childhood experience that you carried to adulthood? Was it inculcated in your system either by your peers, parents, or partner? Have you done anything to cure yourself from your fears? What has prevented you to do something about it, and why?
Some people have allowed their fear to take charge of their lives, thereby limiting themselves from becoming the person that they truly want to be.
A friend of mine fears riding airplanes. He is aware of statistics that show more accidents occurring on land and than on air. Despite this knowledge, he keeps on thinking of the worst case scenarios involving airplanes that he has limited himself to very few choices rather than overcome the fear of flying.
Imagine yourself in such a position. Would you be content to live a life filled with fear? What if there is a great job opportunity that requires you to move to another country? What if a great scholarship opportunity was offered but you are too afraid to try air transport? Would you just let it go?
It is not wrong to be content with what you already have. But if you often limit yourself because you are too afraid to try something new, you are missing a lot of opportunities in life. Each new experience helps enrich your life. It also shapes your character and transforms you into a better person.
The fear of the unknown is certainly what usually keeps holding back some people from achieving their goals. They have so many negative “what-ifs” that they just end up scaring themselves from doing the necessary actions. Therefore, they live a life full of regrets.
American Minister and author of Power Thoughts Dr. Robert Schuller said, “Let your dreams, not your regrets, take command of your life.” People filled with regrets are some of the world’s unhappiest people. They will never be satisfied with their lives because they are always thinking of the missed opportunities, as they insisted on “playing it safe.”
To deal with fears, listen to the advice of Dr. Joe Vitale, author of Life’s Missing Instruction Manual. He said, “Do the thing you wish and walk through the fear. On the other side is freedom.”
While it is okay to be cautious, especially about things that involve changes in life, you have to strike the right balance so as not to miss opportunities. Dr. Vitale further mentioned, “You may find that the very thing you seek is hidden within the very thing you fear.”
Taking chances is a big chunk of what makes people successful in the things that they do. Have you ever considered the odds those business tycoons like Donald Trump and Bill Gates had to go through in order to achieve what they have right now? Not every successful person was born a millionaire. Even millionaire heiress Paris Hilton has taken chances with her life in order to create a name for herself and not just go by her family fortune.
To address fears and insecurities, the only option is to do something about it. List the top five actions you can take to minimize a particular fear or insecurity. If you have more than five items in your list, rank them.
Let us say you have been dreaming to start a new business. Fear of starting it alone and the lack of experience have been keeping you from pursuing it. Your action list may look like this:
• attend business seminars
• talk and interview other people with vast business experience
• buy and read books with relevant information
• seek mentors and possible partners
• study the industry and possible competitors
• find sources of capital
How your list will look like depends on your priorities and available resources. However, take these limitations as challenges to your creativity. Believe that a number of options are available to you when it comes to facing your fears and insecurities.
If possible, refrain from talking about your fears and insecurities. Many people constantly express their insecurities that they volunteer unnecessary information.
One time, a friend of mine was a speaker for a training session. Before the scheduled training, he only talked about his nervousness, the limited time it took him to prepare, the feeling of uncertainty about the possible audience response, and that its been a long time since he spoke before a large audience. All that my friend was able to achieve was to talk and undersell himself!
Do yourself a favour. Never undersell yourself! Do not be conscious; do not draw the attention to your hang-up or some attribute that you are not happy about. In the first place, people might not even notice it, for they are too busy worrying about their own insecurities to have time to scrutinize you. If you must talk about your insecurities, do it with a trusted friend or family member.
For now it is best to be open about new things and opportunities that might come your way. Be prepared to take that big leap towards achieving your aspirations and not just back away from it. It is never too late to overcome fear and broaden your perspective on new horizons.